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Accolade-Free Columns
Goodwill hunting gets personal PDF Print E-mail

You park your car, surveying the surrounding parking lot. Although the thrift store boasts a clearance sale, the crowds are sparse in the early morning light.

Excellent.

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Moist serial killer enjoys local flora PDF Print E-mail

Take a wet car. Add some red paint and a need for flowers. Now all you need is some suspicious citizenry, and ta-da! Mass panic!

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Bar Raised for Ballet Mom PDF Print E-mail

My 6-year-old daughter has taken dance for years. Now, suddenly, it's serious. What's a ballet-challenged mom to do?

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Killer golf swing re-examined PDF Print E-mail

The coming of summer leads me to question a pledge I made long ago. A pledge about golfing. A pledge that saves lives . . .

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Spicy kielbasa causes trauma, destroys phone etiquette PDF Print E-mail

A personal moment of sausage-induced humiliation results in a letter to Applegate Farms.

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Toilet suffers near-fatal "Elmo" extraction PDF Print E-mail

What happens when a plucky toddler and a geriatric toilet go head-to-head?

Nothing that a plumber, some kindness, and years of psychotherapy can't handle.

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